November 5, 2009
October 20, 2009
…birthday extravaganza…
my little luke is now four. he is so proud to be a four year old. he’s been going around the house saying, “i’m FOUR” with his four little fingers up. hilarious.
birthday boy
this year, i tried to make an extra effort for luke’s birthday since most of his friends are back in maryland and we didn’t have too many friends to invite. nonetheless, we sent out invitations to his new friends in LA and his classmates.
birthday inviation
added the stickers from michael's bargain bin
held at Travel Town in Griffith Park
since photoshop isn’t installed on our computer yet, i had to come up with something in microsoft word. i found these cool stickers, so i decided to with “circles” for the design.
for food, luke wanted kimbop (like california rolls) but i didn’t think most kids would appreciate it. so the idea swirled around and somehow, i settled on boxed lunches. bento box –> boxed lunch.
sticker from michaels, same set as the ones from the invite.
used a train cookie cutter to cut the shape out of bread.
in the boxes were either pb&j sandwich or turkey sandwich, with sliced apples. luke wanted carrot sticks with ranch dressing, but again, thought apples (which he also LOVES) would be a better crowd pleaser.
party favor!
for the party favor, kids got to keep the plate that they decorated their train cakes on (target), a train engineer hat, train lollipop (both from oriental trading company), cute bowl (target), fun candy (costco) and a stamp (target). i have been shopping for his party since early summer. i have TONS of returns to do. i bought way more than i needed but i was glad to have the selection from all the bargain hunting.
the kids got to decorate their own train cake. it was fun watching them go at it with candy and frosting. kids really show their personalities with activities like this. girls definitely tended to be more detail oriented. whereas boy were very utilitarian. putting candy in the cars so that they can carry stuff. they all looked good enough to eat though.
then the cake…
birthday train cake
my favorite part of the train was the car carrying the animal crackers
this cake was actually a lot of fun to make. it’s actually a little out of the realm for me. i like working with something that’s not so crazy off in colors and more true to whatever i’m trying to recreate. but this train cake required me to decorate in ways that i wasn’t used to. for example, the coals on the tender had to look like coals. but really, if i’m going to go all out and be colorful, it doesn’t have to be black to be coal, right? you can see that as i did each car, i had more and more fun with all the colors. 
most of all this was worth it to do it for a kid like luke. he noticed a lot of the little efforts that we put into the party. of course DURING the party he kept saying, “can i open the presents now?” but when he hovered around the cake looking at all the different parts, i really felt like it was worth it.
every year i say that i should plan better and there are tons of stuff i wish i could’ve done. like make a train banner, make tags for the favor bags (which i’ve always done but this year, i just ran out of time), make more food. sigh… after the party, i also realized it’s really going to be hard to keep this up year after year. so maybe i’ll pare it down after his 5th birthday party.
here’s our only family shot from the party. not everyone is looking, but that’s nearly impossible with kids this age!
family of four
October 13, 2009
…four years…
it’s somewhat appropriate that i’m blogging on luke’s 4th birthday. afterall, the jumpstart to blogging on xanga was when i was pregnant with luke. i can’t believe how quickly and slowly the time has gone. i’ve heard the saying that the years go by quickly but the days are long. i never knew how true those words would be when i heard them 4 years ago. but here i am, a four years experienced mom, and i’m still alive.
luke is a wonder. he’s still much like who he was when he was a baby. but now he’s full of words, feelings, thoughts and questions that start from the moment he wakes till the last sleepy turn in his bed. he’s still the cautious boy, but now there’s a bit more, actually a LOT more of free-will involved. sucks for me, great for him and his growth. again, sucks for me, big time.
another thing i heard a mom share a while back was that they (your kids) stop hearing you at age 3. thus, after 3 is when the nagging begins. another truth i never knew would ring SO true in our life with luke. the nagging has begun, the threats have also started. such as, “if you don’t put on your socks RIGHT NOW, we are going to church WITHOUT you!!!” i know in my adult head there is no way i’m leaving a 4 year old at home, but trust me, in the moment i mean every single syllable of that insane threat.
so you can imagine our life is filled with chatter that ranges from lovely, to cute, to ordinary, to irritating, to infuriating. i remember i used to say that i wouldn’t trade a moment of any of this for anything. well, now… i can totally trade a day of all this for some solitude. there are days where i actually can feel myself slipping into a maniacal mom who’s about to pull her own hair and her 2 sons’ hair out. no joke.
i’ve cried many nights wondering how much i am messing up – messing up the kids so that by ripe old age of 12, they will be on some therapist’s couch hashing out to details of their day in the life with their insane mom, messing up my own life in a way that makes me wonder who i’ve become in this whole thing, messing up my marriage by all the complaining, whining and exhaustion i bring when there seems to be a moment of silence for just the 2 of us, messing up my relationship with God and being too ashamed to even call myself His own.
so after a good cry or a good venting chat with a friend, i know that His mercies will cover me. they will renew me, if not, at least take the edge off of another day where i might feel like the biggest loser ever. but on days like today, i am overwhelmed… i look at him and i see how amazing he is, how healthy he is, how creative he is, and how loving he is. i look at him and think, wow, he’s MY child. i birthed him. i fed him. he was part of my flesh and now he is this wonderful, vibrant child, full of energy, wonder and warmth. so yes, all the messing up and all my insanity, they are worth it, just to have another day with my darling four year old, luke.
luke, i wonder what another year will bring. i wonder if you’ll get over your phobia of wind, noise and dirty things. i wonder if you’ll keep loving your milk and figure out that for most kids, chocolate milk is preferred. i wonder if you will still be shane’s favorite family member. i wonder if you’ll finally stop being such a perfectionist and just TRY things, even if you won’t do it exactly the way you think it should be done. i wonder if your stories and your “pretend” will ever stop to amaze me. i wonder if you’ll ever stop negotiating. and i wonder how i can my heart can grow bigger to love all of who you are and who you will be. but most of all, i wonder how it’s possible for me to be even prouder of you than i am today.
